[JessFinds] Sensitive Kids III - Montessori Adventures

You know when you get the feeling that "something is up" and you are not getting the full picture of a situation? I naturally and easily assume everything is kosher unless proven otherwise. But there have been some red flags with Miss Crab's Montessori school of late.

1. Teachers speaking very sharply to the students
2. Teachers speaking very sharply to parents, even talking down to them (one mom was reprimanded for speaking French to her daughter).
3. Really negative attitudes.
4. Refusal to assist or leave a paper trail with our issues with Miss Crab*
5. Becoming more rigid in expectations.

I knew for a few days that the kids were going to make applesauce on Friday. Fun, right? I thought it was a pretty traditional Montessori thing to do but a bit suprised because they have never done anything like this.

Then my daughter tells me that there is a "Special Montessori Visitor" coming to the class today and that all the kids have to be extra-good for the SMV.

Hmmm.

Methinks the school is attempting to get some sort of certification? Accreditation? Investment? It would explain all of the high anxiety that Preacher and I have been picking up on. I am so curious to see if I am right.

* And yeah. The Directress has refused our request for a note from Miss Crab's teacher indicating that she believes Miss Crab would benefit from some sort of intervention. Even though she said it, they won't write it down. Said "it is the parents job to push and push for any outside assistance needed."

Ahhh. Adventures in parenting.

[JessFinds] The Highly Sensitive Child

My eldest, Miss Crab, is a pretty typical Highly Sensitive Child (HSC). She has been my little puzzle from the day she was born. I have always described her like an exposed nerve. Everything is bigger, brighter, louder and stranger than it is to the rest of us. Add the redhead gene, and it means she feels pain stronger than any of us too. So not fair. On the other hand, she is delightful. Intuitive, gentle and smart as a whip.

She was the most colicky baby any of my friends or family had ever encountered.  I remember reading the definition of colic at the time (unexplained crying for more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week) and lasting up to 3 months of age. I laughed. Try 12 hours a day, every day until age 18 months. I nearly lost my mind!

The 5(+) years of night terrors have subsided. We lived through it. The sleep studies were nightmares in themselves and the "lead doctor in the field" said she had only seen a dozen kids with Miss Crab's extremity. They recommended putting my 4 year old on benzos (xanex, klonopin). Um...now do I say this nicely? NO. If you are a parent dealing with night terrors, I give you a big blog hug. Send me a message.

Preschool was okay. She made friends and quirky kids are pretty normal in preschool.

Kindergarten. Sigh. The transition from preschool to kindergarten has highlighted a lot of problems that are going to require intervention. We have Miss Crab with a very nice psychologist who has come up with a few new ideas but who I pretty much view as my portal to getting help from other professionals.

We are in year II of Montessori Kindergarten and I was just told that there are "issues" that need addressing. My husband and I will be meeting with her teachers to talk about what is going on. I feel constantly on the defensive about my daughter. I know how well she functions and it makes me sad that she does not function well in a traditional school setting (or even at times in her Montessori school setting).

Miss Crab does not want to draw attention to herself at all, but many of her protective mechanisms - unfortunately - draw attention. She draws up her shoulders, brings her arms in tight to her side, puts her hands up high on her chest in a "begging" position. We call this her "T-Rex." She does this when nervous or stressed.

Age six has been good in many ways. She is able to use her coping mechanisms and she can verbalize a lot of her anxiety. She is becoming this amazing kid - game to try out new things, great sense of humor, very caring. In some ways, she is perfection. I could not imagine her being anything but the way she is. I just wish I could make her path easier, because lots of people are going to find her problematic and try to put her in boxes.


Resources:
I have complied a list of fantastic books that have helped us in our journey.




The above book is amazing - I had no idea that there were other kids out there like my daughter!

Yahoo Groups has a great board for parents with HSC's. I cannot say enough good things about this group. SO supportive.  It is called HSCBook.

[JessFinds] GonzoSchool ... Completion of Week ONE

I have waxed on about how much I adore my husband's iPad - today I enjoyed it even more when I used the Montessori lesson apps to do some math and alphabet work with my 3.5 year old. She took to it like a natural! Two things amazed me...

1. Montessori techniques are over 100 years old, yet regardless of techologial advances kids just gravitate towards the hands-on learning and are naturally pleased with the reward of completing a task independently.

2. Technology has made it possible for my littlest daughter to trace alphabet letters (sandpaper letters) with the rewarding scritchy sound, she can sort the red wooden bars and do basic math using visual reinforcement... all via an iPad! Maria Montessori would be so thrown for a loop on this one.

Obviously it cannot replace the actual texture of sitting with sandpaper letters, but the fact that Gonzo was pleased with her tracing of the letters and learning the accompanying sounds is pricesless. A nice reinforcement tool. Plus, there is the fact that we can trust 3 year olds with technology that would have blown our great-grandmother's minds.

I saw that the same app group (Montessorium) is coming out with a moveable alphabet app. Can't wait.

[JessFinds] Me? Homeschool? NEVER.

The summer hiatus is over and I am back!

My contract was not renewed for fall, so I am (once again) unemployed. Sigh. This means that Miss Gonzo will not be attending a "real" preschool because, well, we can't afford it. This also means that she will be attending the School of Mom.

First day of preschool: September 13th, 2010. 

We started off with the theme of cows. We checked out 5 books about cows from the local library. Today we began with this one:

We watched an old episode of Sesame Street on YouTube that showed where milk comes from. We also looked up information about cows who sleep on waterbeds. I will let you Google that one.

Today we achieved the following:
1. Baked biscuits
2. Cleaned the living room
3. Read "When the Cows Come Home"
4. Did two safety scissor projects, practiced cutting straight lines
5. Talked about Red (worksheet)
6. Worked on writing readiness (4 worksheets)

And now, we are relaxing with a snack and watching Ponyo on a rainy day. :-)

[JessFinds] Sins of our Children

I love that my daughter is in a Montessori school. I love that she is way ahead of the curve academically. I love that it seems to be the perfect place for her social development. I don't mind that it is a Roman Catholic school most of the time. I have very strong issues with the RCs. Not my favorite version of religion. Still, she is a very spiritual little girl. But she handed me a card she made in school (with amazing penmanship if I might brag) about her sins being cleansed. It makes me want to throat punch people. My six year old has no sins.

Grrrr. Deep calming breath.


Just a hiccup in what I generally consider to be a great place. Perspective. Daddy is a Priest in a Holy catholic and Apostolic church - the Episcopal Church  Mommy is a non-theist. She will be hearing about religion her whole life, all I can do is answer her questions as holistically as possible.

[JessFinds] And then the Titanic hit an iceburg

This photo was taken AFTER her first day of the new Kindergarten. Happy. Well adjusted. Enjoying the Star Wars presents I picked up for her to celebrate getting through the day.

I call this a success!

Our morning was great! Miss Crab had a full nights sleep, got up and put on her uniform that I placed at the end of her bed (no complaints) and ate a huge breakfast. No photos this morning, I wanted to keep the expectations at a low level. We made it to school. We parked the vehicle. And then she saw the other students and started to panic.

We made it to her classroom, put her lunchbox on the shelf and her coat on the hook. Crab was completely set in at this point and she grabbed her coat back off the hook as though she was going to bolt.

I then took her to the "playroom" where the kids meet before classes start. They had a sticker w/ her name on it waiting for her. A very nice lady told me that they prefer we say goodbye at the door to minimize distraction, which I am SO glad of. It took the pressure off of me.

I gave her a huge hug. Told her how much I loved her and how proud I was of her. At this point, she totally lost her sh*t and went nutso. MOMMY NOOOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME!!! PLEASE MOMMY NOOOOOO! The lovely woman at the door helped escort Crab away from me. She even had her arms stretched out, like the sinking of the Titanic ... NOOOOOOO!

I had tears running down my face on the way out and a very sweet dad came up to me and gave me a hug, said that he is intimately familiar with that scene and that his child did that for a full 30 days before figuring out it was not worth it. He promised that it gets better.

I called the school at Noon. They said Miss Crab is doing fine. She made it through the morning and is behaving like a lovely young lady. They could totally be blowing smoke up my skirt and I DO NOT CARE. I'll buy it.