My husband (aka Preacher) has informed me that we are "hayseeds." Really. Unkay. This is a derogatory term for people who have been put out to pasture too long, been roaming the ranges ... country folk. Style-less. Gasp.
Let me get my banjo and play a little tune to help paint this picture ...
I have been many things, but hayseed was not one that popped up in my mind.!!!
Grunge: In the early 90's, I tried on grunge. It was the Pacific NW ... we wore flannels and docs and thermal underwear under ripped skater shorts. I wore skull caps. I tried to tone down my natural perky behavior. Perky was not grunge. I dyed my hair orange and maroon and went to Primus (Nirvana, Alice in Chains, etc...) concerts and threw myself in mosh pits (where inevitably I would get shoved in to the back of that sweaty shirtless fat blond guy ... you know the one that was in EVERY mosh pit the summer of 1992). I still have indentations on my shins from being used as a human ladder. I got a stoooopid tattoo that I still love because it reminds me of being really stooooopid. I dated musicians and drank a lot of black coffee.
Glam-Goth: In early to mid college I went for glam-goth-pirate. I was overdressed, always looking like I was about to go clubbing even though I was just going to class. It was the antithesis of the hippy look that was pervasive at my college. I wanted to look glorious. I wanted perfectly applied makeup and teetering heels. I eventually dyed my hair black with blue highlights and looked like Japanese animation. Or a vampire. Some people swear I was seen wearing a cape - I swear I was never that lame. However, that time frame is a wee bit foggy. I do recall wearing thigh-high boots and poet shirts without irony. I went to warehouse parties. I dated misunderstood boys and drank espresso.
Shabby Prep: Then I went for the broke-down preppy look as I started to exit college. Vintage thrift store finds. Back to my natural hair color (white blonde). I thought I was channeling a whole Katherine Hepburn vibe with menswear. I owned suspenders. Thought I was a hipster. I dated grad students and drank black coffee.
YUP: Enter Seattle circa 1998-2001. I am a young urban professional! I am riding the Dot.com boom! I make great money! I have a personal shopper at Nordstroms and I buy MAC cosmetics by the truckload! Hello cashmere! I am married! I go on vacations! I talk about the stock market! I put cream and sugar in my coffee!
Momista Chic: Then we go to the Virginia /DC years - 2002 - 2005. I dyed my hair red for a while. Worked in not-for-profit land. Got preggo, had Miss Crab and adopted a mommy-chic aesthetic. I had a Kate Spade diaper bag. I gave up coffee completely.
Mommy: We move to rural New England. I have another child. I am jeans and tee-shirts. Add a sweater in winter. I own clogs. And a minivan missing one hubcap. I suck down coffee any way I can get it. Frequently Iced Lattes from the Dunkin Donuts drive-through.
Ohmigod. We are hayseeds! I need an intervention.
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