Tuesday, September 21, 2010

[JessFinds] Of Change, Mystery, Freak Flags and Drew Barrymore


I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
-- Mohandas Gandhi 

I like that Gandhi.

We have had some crazy news around here of late, some stuff that is going to change our lives. Big impact stuff.  No I am not pregnant. Nobody has cancer. No alien abductions.

I don't mean to be mysterious (those who know me are having a guffaw right about now because me and mystery don't exactly go hand in hand). I will be able to talk openly about it as soon as some of the dust settles.

There is nothing like a good life upheaval to put everything in perspective though!

I am naturally a free spirit and but struggle between being conventional and being myself more often than I would like. Free spirit me wants to knock some heads, have a beer and get on with the adventure. Conventional me wants to "see how things go" and be responsible.

This may be due to the fact that I am married to a lifestyle that requires me to be conventional, the whole Preacher's Wife thing. Yawn. I am so very bad at it. It is like for every ounce of effort I put in to being sorta-proper I need two ounces of crazy, eccentric authenticity. Yeah, yeah. I talk about this all the time. I wonder how many clergy spouses are out there who feel the same way. We don't exactly have a network.

Beyond that, I have a very rich life. My hubby is made of sugar and has his own crazy, eccentric self that I am privy too. I have friends who allow me to be authentic. My family demands nothing less than my wackiness.  I have had a wonderful career with mentors who have pushed me along. I am a rockstar mom to my rugrats.  I am confident at times I probably should not be. Life is good.

A few years ago, I read that Drew Barrymore made "live fearlessly" as one of her New Years Resolutions. I loved that. Live fearlessly. It has been my NYR ever since. 

And that is why I don't have a pit in my stomach when change comes a-knockin.


Joie said...

Um, you don't get to put this kind of thing out there and then not have a phone working when I call ;-)

JESS said...

No worries Joie - try Preacher again. His phone should be on.

Anonymous said...

When I have times like this, I feel alot better when I remember that "Karma's a bitch".