(JessFinds) she wants a wife

I am battling the project monster. 

I know that wisdom says you should live in a house for a year before making any major changes, but what if you bought the house already imagining the improvements?

The gloom of winter is starting to lift (even though we are still flirting with 30 degrees daily) and the sun is out. Daylight savings is having that "spring cleaning" effect on all of us. That new year's promise to purge, purge, purge is really starting to itch at me. 

So I want to purge. Clean out all the crap. I want to attack projects. I have a list a mile long and an empty pocketbook. I probably should garage sale / eBay the purge and start a project fund ... but waaaaah. That takes time. And I want instant gratification. Then there is the problem of time. Three adults and not a spare moment extra. 

I want my anniversary promise of a tub/shower installed in the 3rd bathroom (a half-bath with easy potential for a full bath status). I want a back yard fence to contain my exuberant baby girls from wandering too far. I want landscaping, a retaining wall - shrubbery removal and maybe some nice features (we are talking a water feature in the SE corner). I need to have my front stairs demolished and a new stairway / landing built at the entrance to the house. The current situation is not up to code. Actually it is crumbling concrete. I want my kitchen finished (finally) down to the details. Like paint. And trim. 

Have any of my readers shared rooms as a sibling? We want Miss Crab and Baby Gonzo to share a space but we have a bit of a problem (s). One, Miss Crab has night terrors that can send anyone bolt upright in bed. Kind of cruel to subject a 13 month old to that. Then there is the fact that Baby Gonzo is waking up 4x per night on her own - screaming. That alone could send Miss Crab in to a Night Terror Extravaganza. So the two of them are high pitched scream machines. Part of me wants to lock them in a room together at night and let them at it. But that part of me is the old Jess who did not want kids. The grown up Jess knows that night terrors are not a ploy for attention - they are a paranocturnal sleep disorder and that waking at 13 months is a combination of teething and separation anxiety. 

Does not mean that I have to like it. 

I need a wife. A nice 1950's wife who lives to nurture. Keep my house clean, my kids happy, my dinners warm and bring me a scotch on occasion. That would be SO great. My wife could be a man or a woman. I really don't care.  I would also settle for Nanny Jo (hee - settle).  I really don't ask for too much. Just a lot of money to attack the house projects and a wife. That is all. For now.