[JessFinds] Sensitive Kids III - Montessori Adventures

You know when you get the feeling that "something is up" and you are not getting the full picture of a situation? I naturally and easily assume everything is kosher unless proven otherwise. But there have been some red flags with Miss Crab's Montessori school of late.

1. Teachers speaking very sharply to the students
2. Teachers speaking very sharply to parents, even talking down to them (one mom was reprimanded for speaking French to her daughter).
3. Really negative attitudes.
4. Refusal to assist or leave a paper trail with our issues with Miss Crab*
5. Becoming more rigid in expectations.

I knew for a few days that the kids were going to make applesauce on Friday. Fun, right? I thought it was a pretty traditional Montessori thing to do but a bit suprised because they have never done anything like this.

Then my daughter tells me that there is a "Special Montessori Visitor" coming to the class today and that all the kids have to be extra-good for the SMV.

Hmmm.

Methinks the school is attempting to get some sort of certification? Accreditation? Investment? It would explain all of the high anxiety that Preacher and I have been picking up on. I am so curious to see if I am right.

* And yeah. The Directress has refused our request for a note from Miss Crab's teacher indicating that she believes Miss Crab would benefit from some sort of intervention. Even though she said it, they won't write it down. Said "it is the parents job to push and push for any outside assistance needed."

Ahhh. Adventures in parenting.

[JessFinds] Thinking ahead and training bras

Very good experience with the new doctor du jour (see previous posting). She seems like a great resource, close to home. She was very good with Miss Crab and said she will do some Occupational Therapy research for us. We may do some independent testing once we have her evaluated by an OT.

In the meantime, it is business as usual! We have been asked to list out many "behaviors" that concern us and rank them on a 1-5 scale. I totally understand the exercise, but would anyone else feel like a schmuck writing down all the things that they find frustrating about their kid and ranking them? Let's just hope she never finds that list because I can't afford a lifetime of therapy! Delete. Delete. Delete.

Today, someone asked me a very good question: Are you looking for a diagnosis?

The only answer I had was a no-yes-not sure. Logically, I don't think anything changes about your child once you have a diagnosis, the kid is still the same kid. A diagnosis would mean that there is a name for our "unique situation" and that people have been down our path before, which means that there might be tools and plans of action. So that could be good. And then there is the big-bad (thanks Buffy) label of a scary diagnosis, that label that kills some of your hopes and opens up a lifetime of extra hard work. I will admit fear of those labels.

No diagnosis could be good too, especially if we are doing things right and maybe could get some new tools along the way to help her with her sensitivities, her speech and her shyness.

Either way, something is up. My mama bones have known it from day one. I think that "something" is currently mild in the big picture of things. My concern is that we ignore "something" and it becomes a "big something."

The doctor presented this situation to me: A child who is particular about their clothing and refuses to wear anything perceived as scratchy is one thing. [I do not make clothing a battleground] What happens when that child does not outgrow it, becomes a young adult and needs to wear a bra?

Yeah. I hate thinking long-term too. Especially about my kid and a bra. Shudder.

[JessFinds] Paging Dr. Freud ...

Today is a very important day in Miss Crab's life. A right-of-passage if you will in this family. Today is the day she gets to visit her very first (drumroll) psychologist.

(I am dyin' laughing because right-of-passage is putting it mildly with these genetics. Sorry Baby.)

Many of you know that Crab is a pretty unique kiddo. She has always been wired a bit differently than her peers. Doctors, friends, family, etc.. have all thrown around words like "sensitive" and "sensory processing" and even "aspburgers" but we have not had any professional evaluation outside of her pediatrician. I wanted to wait before sticking her with a label, especially since it was not interfering with her development. She has hit all the basic benchmarks. Which is great - she is probably smarter than all of us combined. Academically she is on target. Reading independantly, loves math and science. She actively seeks out mathmatic games and work in the classroom. Clearly, not my kid.

We have been a bit concerned with her social development - again, quirky kid - and want to make sure we are not missing anything. Her teacher has recommended (and we concurr wholeheartedly) that she stay in the same classroom next fall. To some this is "repeating Kindergarten" but the way Montessori is designed, they would never keep her from learning at an advanced level. It will give her a chance to stay in the first cycle of Montessori (with kids ages 3-6) and become the top dog in her class, gain some confidence and hopefully come in to her own a bit socially.

So we will see where this all leads. I think it is important to have an independent evaluation as the labels get stuck on so easily in school. And my kid does not fit neatly in to any box I have ever come across!